Friday, August 24, 2012


I haven't had much to report on since I have not been going out/doing much here. One reason is that I don't have any friends here, which makes for a lonely time. I used to relish going out by myself, meeting random people, generally doing stuff, but something happened after my accident that makes me feel scared about venturing out alone now. Case in point: it is a Friday night, I'm at home, in Boston, one of the most happening cities in America. How pathetic.

Being alone on a Friday night makes me reflect on loneliness a bit more. Certainly, everyone with a disability experiences crushing loneliness. No one else knows what it is like to occupy this body, no one knows what it is like to experience the physical pain, the mental anguish, the daily challenges...
But loneliness is also part of the human condition. Regardless of whether we are with a partner or not, I think we are, or can be, desperately lonely. That's pretty depressing. I've always found there to be a very fine line between accepting the human condition and wanting to kill yourself. But I think I feel more lonely than most people. Anyone I meet now will only know me as the person I am from this point on. No one will know who I was before my accident. I don't want to live in the past, but I do feel that there are so many characteristics and parts of me that were defined by who I was and what I did before my accident that would be important for future friends to know. I don't expect to meet many people, if anyone, who will be able to understand me, and that makes me feel incredibly sad. In the past, I've always made lots of friends through sports. Now that outlet has been largely removed, so I am worried about how I'm going to meet people now.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Urban paddling

Finally did it - bought a used SUP, found storage for it, and got my fat ass out on the Charles River! Not surprisingly, I was the only person on an SUP on the Charles amidst all the sailboats, kayaks, motorized boats. The water wasn't as filthy as I expected it to be, although I have been told that after a storm, sewage run-off goes into the river so one should avoid going on then.

Friday, August 10, 2012


Drove up North to a town on the water called Manchester-by-the-Sea. During the drive up there, all I could think was, people say the West Coast is soul-less in its modern, cookie-cutter architecture (true), but the East Coast is just old and soul-less too. Same strip malls, albeit older and rougher looking, line the highways. However, Manchester-by-the-Sea was quite beautiful. It looked like how I imagined a New England town would look like...small fishing town, mist lingering over the water, small boats moored in the harbour. I SUP'd a little around the harbour (I was demo'ing some SUPs I am thinking about purchasing) and was sweating buckets by the time I was done - mostly because I'm an unfit porker right now and also because of the humidity. Welcome to New England!

Have been wanting to keep up with my Spanish but don't want to pay private tutor prices. Have found some options. The most interesting and cheapest option is where I have a Skype call with a tutor located in Latin America. Pretty cool, eh? 10% of the profits from this organization go to

Thursday, August 9, 2012

I hate driving in Boston

The roads here are a nightmare to navigate. I have no idea what I would do without the GPS unit I borrow from Joy and Yuji. I also find the concept of the turnpike so offensive. I drove from Cambridge to Newton today, and paid tolls FOUR times: once to get on the turnpike, once to exit, once to get back on the turnpike for the return journey and once again to exit. I guess places that don't have bodies of water to cross need to come up with another revenue source.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


I like the idea of change, mixing it up, keeping things fresh...but goddammit, I am so bad at handling transitions. Boston/Cambridge is a bit tough because it is a walking town and as you know, walking is not my forte. Boston/Cambridge (I live in Cambridge but for simplicity I'm just going to refer to both places as Boston in general) is also chock full of runners. Watching people running along the Charles River fills me with sadness and envy. It is going to take me awhile to embrace my new town. I don't think I can ever call it my home.