Yesterday, while I was cleaning out my wardrobe in an attempt to streamline the ridiculous quantity of clothing (specifically, high-end sports/outdoor wear) I have, I came across a pair of ski pants that had my Kirkwood ski resort season pass 2009-10 attached to it. I broke down and cried. A lot of people don't know or forget that I was a big skier before my accident and derived almost the same joy from hucking off cliffs, picking a line down moguls, or negotiating a narrow couloir, as I did from climbing. I guess the parallels are many: pushing yourself physically in sometimes precarious physical conditions and situations in order to feel alive. I haven't attempted to ski (alpine and certainly not telemark) since my accident. For some reason, I was more interested in getting back into climbing first, and also feeling like climbing w/ one limb is more feasible than skiing without the use of my left quad/leg, especially since skiing is so quad-intensive. Sit-skiing does not appeal to me, again because I find extra equipment so off-putting for me at least. I might have the opportunity to try skiing when I am in Colorado for ABS Nationals. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Like climbing, maybe worried that I will feel incredibly sad that I can't ski like I used to.
I've also avoided climbing publications for the most part since my accident for emotional reasons. But today, I finally had some down time and decided to read a copy of Climbing magazine, that was mailed to me last year. It was not the easiest edition to read. It just so happened half the magazine was devoted to chronicling High Sierra routes i.e. routes that I had done. Looking at the pictures and descriptions of the climbs conjured mixed emotions, as always. Reading the approach information to these climbs made me feel sad as I know long, arduous approaches are out of my reach now. But there was also a small part of me that tried to be a little positive and tell myself, hey, you can look back and actually say you went to these places and did these climbs.
My climbing has improved though. On Monday I threw down some 10's on lead that surprised me. I've developed some inside elbow pain though :( So I have to lay off a little, avoid pull-ups and lock-offs for a few days, that kind of thing. I was actually marveling to myself that it was pretty cool to be in the (familiar) position of balancing training/getting stronger and injury-prevention. Post-accident, I never thought that I would be able to push myself hard enough physically to have these concerns.